Always
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: Jackie's walked out on Robbie but he wants her to know that he's in love with and always has been, for forever and a day. Songfic.


**AUTHORS NOTE: So much for my hiatus right? Oh well, this hit me randomly this morning after a Bon Jovi session and it's my best friend's favourite song so why not butcher it with my lame ass fluffy writing? I'm sorry for how short it is. I did it as a song fic challenge (in the time of the song (twice round)) so if there are any major errors then please let me know!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters**

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**[Always]**

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_This Romeo is bleedin'  
But you can't see his blood  
It's nothing but some feelings  
That this old dog kicked up_

Sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands ran through his hair as he felt the tears fall down his face. He didn't know how he'd allowed it to happen. He could literally feel the emotions seeping through his body, bleeding out into the room like bad vibes that would startle anyone that was to come near to him. He was just struggling from the feelings that had been brought up for some random reason and now they were killing him inside as he struggled to stop the pain rushing through his body.

_It's been raining since you left me  
Now I'm drowning in the flood  
You see I've always been a fighter  
But without you I'll give up_

He didn't know what was causing the constant tears or why he couldn't stop them from falling. He decided that he didn't really care as they were a sign of him really feeling something towards the pain but sometimes he just felt as if he was drowning in his tears and he didn't enjoy that feeling. He just needed a five minute break to clear his head and regain focus but that never happened. The tears fell even when he was angry or just trying to be happy because they brought things back in to his mind.

It angered him because he'd always been a fighter. He could do anything that he put his mind to and survive but he knew that without her in his life than he'd just give up because she was his everything. She was the one that kept him strong, the one that kept him on the straight and narrow and if that failed, she was the one there to clean up his messes.

_I can't sing a love song  
Like the way it's meant to be  
I guess I'm not that good anymore  
But that's just me_

She'd constantly teased him for his good singing voice and for the fact that he joined in with every song that came on the radio when they had it on. She also teased him for directing it at her whenever he sang. He'd sing the love song to her so that she understood how he felt but now he couldn't do that anymore. Any love song sounded dull and lost without the meaning behind it. It lost everything that gave it depth and he guessed that he just wasn't that good anymore but didn't care. That was just the way he was. Whenever a love song came onto the radio anymore, he'd switch it off and just find himself wanting to break down again.

_Now that your pictures that you left behind  
Are just memories from a different life  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry  
One that made you have to say goodbye_

The walls of their small apartment were filled with framed photographs that she insisted needed to be put up. Photos of just the two of them whenever they went on holiday or dates, photos of them and their fellow detectives when they'd gone out as a group and even photos of occasions that he couldn't possibly remember but she'd loved the photos so they'd ended up on the wall. They were happy photos, beautiful ones of smiling faces but now they're just memories of a different life that he couldn't have anymore.

Some of the memories were occasions that made them laugh. He found himself reaching out for a photo that was taken on their first date. They were stood on the bridge looking over the Clyde River, his arms wrapped around her to protect her from the harsh wind when a couple of teenage girls had come over and said that they'd take a photo for them. Robbie had tried to refuse the offer but Jackie handed over the digital camera and so the picture was snapped. She'd fallen in love with it and even the girls had gushed over how lovely it was. Robbie had had the picture printed the very next day.

Some of the memories were occasions that had made them cry. The night of Jardine's death they'd gone to the pub like they always did and drank a beer in his fond memory. The photo was taken accidently by Gemma who had been fiddling with her camera at the time and it was of the three, then younger, detectives. Jackie was sat in between the two men, her head down as she let her tears fall without a single shame, and the two boys had their arms around her shoulders as they pressed their foreheads against her temples and whispering comforting words into her ears. Despite the occasion, the four had loved the photo and it had joined the archive eventually causing her to smile sadly at it every time she passed it.

Then there was that final memory, a photo he'd never put up on the wall, but the one where she had to say goodbye and had walked away from him. She'd walked away from their life without a second glance.

_What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair  
Touch your lips and hold you near  
When you say your prayers you understand  
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man_

He'd genuinely give anything to run his hands through her short brown hair once more, to feel her lips trembling against his as they kissed and just to feel her lovely womanly curves in his arms as he held her near. He'd never loved a woman as much as he loved her. He had worshipped her body, loved the imperfections and desired the way her whole body flushed red with heat during that high. He hoped that when she said her silent prayers that night in her new apartment that she understood that he's made mistakes because he was only a man. He made mistakes that he couldn't even try to rectify even as he accepted that he was going to be alone for the rest of his days now.

_When he holds you close, he pulls you near  
When he says the words you've been needin' to hear  
I wish I was him with those words of mine  
To say to you till the end of time_

He hopes that when her new boyfriend holds her close, her body near to his as he whispers in her ears the words she's always needed to hear, he can't help but wish that it was him. He wishes that he was the one whispering the words that he'd always wanted to say. He wanted the chance to say the words that he should have said till the end of time. He wants the chance to whisper "_I will love you baby, always, and I'll be there forever and a day, always_" but he knows that can't happen now.

_If you told me to cry for you, I could  
If you told me to die for you, I would  
Take a look at my face  
There's no price i won't pay  
To say these words to you_

He decided that he needed to talk to her. He needed to make her understand that there was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. He whispered that if she wanted him to cry for her then he would and if she wanted him to die then he would but she didn't even bat an eyelid. She didn't trust him. He knew she'd fear that it was once again just more broken promises. He took hold of her hand and pleaded for her to take a look at his face and see if she could see that he was lying. He needed her to see that he was genuine when he said that there would no price he'd pay to say those words to her. He'd do anything.

_Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice  
But baby, if you give me just one more try  
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,  
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines_

From his gambling addiction, he knew that the odds were against him and there was no luck in the loaded dice but she needed to give him just one more chance. He'd do anything to just have her with him one more time. They could pack up their old dreams, their old lives including the photo wall and find a place that they could both be happy in. He would find them a new place where the sun constantly shined on their new relationship and he'd make sure the sun never set, not if he had anything to do with it.

_I'll be there, till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme  
I know when i die you'll be on my mind  
and I'll love you, always_

He would be there for her through everything. He'd be there when there were no stars shining in the dark Glasgow nights, he'd be there when the heavens burst and rained down on them and he'd be there when the words didn't rhyme anymore. He'd be there for her now matter what. He promised that if he was to ever die, she'd be the only and last thing on his mind as he entered the peaceful slumber because she was everything to him. She was the one that he would love forever and for always.

He stared at her in shock, his heartbeat racing as he waited anxiously for her answer. The new boyfriend wore the same expression and Robbie knew that he was afraid of losing a woman that he too loved. She sighed as she looked down at the floor, he could see the strain across her face and he feared her answer so he just squeezed her shoulder before walking away not wanting her to say it out loud. He hadn't got far before he heard his name being shouted, a pair of arms wrapping around his waist as he turned round to see who was shouting him. She cried into his shirt, her hands balling the material up in her fists as she let the tears flood through her.

She looked up at him, her makeup ruined from the tears but he didn't think she looked more beautiful, and whispered "_I love you, always, and I'll be there forever and a day_." She whispered before pressing a kiss to his lips, his hand moving down to cup her cheek.


End file.
